So, About This Bloody Mary Chili…

If you’d told me years ago I’d be pouring tomato juice (yes, like the stuff for cocktails) into my chili pot, I probably would’ve snorted iced tea out my nose. But hear me out: this chili is basically a hug in a bowl for anyone who loves that Bloody Mary zing—without the headache.

The first time I made it, my brother was visiting, and he’s one of those people who claims to like spicy food but actually starts sweating at black pepper. Let’s just say we found our spice limit that day. These days, I’m much lazier (or, ok, more efficient) and the whole thing comes together in just one big pot. Oh—and if you accidentally double the celery salt, well, it gets very…{ponders}…celery-forward. Maybe not a bad thing?

Why My Family Kinda Begs for This

I make this when it’s one of those rainy Sundays and nobody really wants to go out, but everyone wants to eat something cozy and a bit unusual (plus the football game pretty much requires chili). My kids go wild for the smoky bacon bits—though I make it with turkey sometimes when I’m pretending we eat healthy. Honestly, people get weirdly excited about the pickled garnish options. And if you’re worried it’ll taste like straight-up alcohol, don’t. Most of it cooks out. Except for once when I, um, forgot to simmer it long enough. Let’s not talk about that batch.

What You'll Need (Sort Of)

1 pound ground beef (I’ve swapped in half turkey before; it’s still tasty, promise.)
3 strips bacon (My friend Amanda swears by smoky thick-cut bacon, but store brand works.)
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced (or cheat with that pre-minced stuff—nobody can tell in chili anyway)
1 large bell pepper, chopped (Red’s nice, but, you know, whatever’s lingering in your veg drawer)
1 or 2 stalks celery, chopped
2 (15 oz) cans diced tomatoes (I accidentally bought fire roasted once—turns out, love it)
1 (15 oz) can kidney beans, drained
1 (15 oz) can black beans, drained (or actually any bean—pinto, navy… just toss it in!)
2 cups tomato juice (V8 if you’re feeling fancy. Or store-brand is totally fine)
¾ cup vodka (optional—skip it, or use a lesser expensive brand because, c’mon, you’re cooking with it)
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon hot sauce (I go Franks, but Tobasco works; add more if you like it fiery)
1 teaspoon celery salt
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
½ teaspoon black pepper
Salt, to taste (I always add too little, then fix it at the table)
Toppings: Chopped pickles, olives, sour cream, shredded cheese, green onions, or—if you’re my cousin—leftover potato chips

Making the Magic Happen

Grab your favorite big pot or Dutch oven. Start with the bacon—cook it over medium heat, stirring until it’s crispy (or, honestly, until it just smells irresistible). Fish the bacon out and set it aside, but leave that glorious fat in the pot.
Throw in the onion, garlic, bell pepper, and celery. Let it all get nice and soft, which takes about 5-7 minutes (or as long as it takes to dance to two good songs).
Bump up the heat a smidge and add your ground beef. Brown it, breaking it up as you go. No need to fuss if it sticks a bit—the juices will deglaze later.
This is the bit where I sneak in a taste, mostly because I can’t wait. Toss the bacon back in along with beans, diced tomatoes, tomato juice, vodka (if using), hot sauce, Worcester sauce, celery salt, smoked paprika, pepper, and a good pinch of salt.
Give everything a solid stir and bring it up to just barely boiling. Then drop the heat and let it simmer, uncovered, for about 45 minutes. If it looks a tad thick, a splash more tomato juice or water will save you. Or if it’s soupy as the Mississippi after a rain, just simmer it a bit longer. Don’t stress.
Ten minutes before serving, taste and tweak the seasonings (I usually end up adding more hot sauce than planned, but I like to live dangerously). That’s when you do the last adjustment—trust your gut, or your nose, or whoever wanders into the kitchen at this point and wants a taste.

Some Notes from the Many Batches I’ve Made

Honestly, letting this sit overnight—especially in the fridge—makes the flavors pop. But who actually waits?
If you skip the vodka, it’s still legit. But the original does feel a bit more… grown-up. And hey, you can use it for an actual Bloody Mary on the side. Multi-tasking!
Once, I forgot to drain the beans. It wasn’t a disaster, just… thicker than usual. If that happens, just call it chili stew and move on.

What I've Tried (and What Went Slightly Sideways)

I made a vegetarian version with soy crumbles and mushrooms. It actually turned out lovely, especially with extra smoked paprika.
Chili with tequila instead of vodka? Eh, wasn’t for me. Tasted weirdly sweet. Your mileage may vary.
Once tried adding horseradish for the full Bloody Mary effect. Let’s just say, it’s an acquired taste (but if you love that, go for it!)

What If You Don't Have a Dutch Oven?

Don’t let anyone tell you you need fancy gear. Any biggish soup pot will do. I’ve even used my slow-cooker (just brown the meat before you dump everything in). If your pan’s a bit small, just halve the recipe. Or squint and hope for the best—worked for me a few times!

How I (Try To) Store Leftovers

Scoop into containers with good lids—though honestly, in my house it never lasts more than a day. Supposedly you can freeze it for up to 3 months, but we wouldn’t know. Next day chili, though, does taste way better in my humble opinion.

Our (Slightly Odd) Serving Rituals

I like to top it with crunchy dill pickle chips and sharp cheddar. My partner piles on olives and hot sauce. Sometimes, if I'm feeling very Midwestern, I’ll serve it with crackers or that weirdly addictive cheese bread Smitten Kitchen makes. Want a true Bloody Mary experience? Pop a celery stick in there. Go wild.

Honestly, These Saved Me From Overcooking

Don’t rush the simmer—the flavors really do change. I tried speeding it up once (hangry kids) and ended up with something flat and bland. Just… be patient.
Taste before adding more salt. The bacon and Worcester will surprise you.
If it looks oily, just skim off the extra with a spoon; nobody likes a greasy mouthfeel (weird word, but true.)

Questions Folks Actually Ask Me

Can I make this alcohol-free? Oh, 100 percent! Just skip the vodka, up the tomato juice a smidge, and you’re set.
How spicy does it get? Eh, depends on your hot sauce and taste buds; I’d say medium. But you could always halve (or double) the hot sauce. My brother wishes I would.
Do you have to use all those toppings? Nope. I once made it with just sour cream and cheese because that’s all we had. Still got zero complaints.
Could I use a slow cooker? Sure thing! Brown things first for flavor; then, let it all go on low for 5-6 hours. Easy.
What should I serve with it? I mean, corn bread is lovely, or just a good old hunk of sourdough. And a real Bloody Mary (check Bon Appetit’s drinks section) if you’re going all in!
Is it kid-friendly? Yep (minus the vodka and less hot sauce)! My youngest likes it with crackers and a silly straw… don’t ask.

And if you do make it, drop me a note and let me know how it turned out! Or what you changed—something always goes slightly sideways and you learn something new. That's honestly my favorite part.

Bloody Mary Chili