Okay, Story Time Before We Guac!
Let’s just get this confession out of the way—I used to line up at Chipotle just for the guacamole. No shame; my family knows. One year, I tried making their guac for a Taco Tuesday, expecting I'd mess it up (I mean, the bar is high—who hasn’t thought, "mine never tastes quite as good"?), but it sorta became "my thing." And you wouldn’t believe how many friends started inviting me to their potlucks just to ensure this bowl showed up. One time, my cat tried to swipe a tortilla chip, so I’m taking that as a sign of true success.
Why You'll Love Making This
I break this out when we’ve got last-minute people showing up—or on days when I need to feel like I’ve done something impressive without actually, you know, working too hard. My family goes absolutely bananas for this (no, not literally bananas, that’d be weird) because it’s so creamy and tart. And nobody can tell it only takes, like, 10 minutes max. For real, I’ve even made it while yelling at the kids to finish their homework. Oh—sometimes I get picky about the avocados, but honestly, any ripe ones will do in a pinch.
Your Lineup of Ingredients (With a Few Swaps)
- 3 medium ripe avocados (Hass is classic, but my grandma swears by Florida avos—she’s not wrong, but they’re milder)
- ¼ red onion, finely chopped (white onion totally works if you’re out—it adds a bit more bite)
- 1-2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (I actually eyeball this; sometimes it’s one lime, sometimes it’s two—depends how tangy you feel)
- 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro (If you’re a cilantro-hater, skip it or try flat-leaf parsley? No judgments!)
- 1 jalapeño, seeded and minced (Or use half a serrano for more heat! Or none at all if a little burn isn’t your thing)
- Scant ½ teaspoon kosher salt (Sea salt also works—my cousin once used pink Himalayan, which was... very extra, but tasty)
How I Throw This Together
- Halve and pit your avocados. Scoop the green stuff into a bowl—just a regular cereal bowl is fine. I usually mash ‘em with a fork, not a fancy masher. (Actually, I use the back of a spoon when I’m already washing up too many forks? It works, just a bit slower.)
- Toss in the onion, lime juice, cilantro, and salt. Give it a quick mix—it’ll look a bit chunky, which is perfect. (This is where I sneak a taste. You should too.)
- Add the jalapeño. Sometimes I go wild and use a little more if people are feeling brave, but don’t feel pressured. Stir it all together. If it looks a little weird—like runny or blob-ish—don’t panic. It actually tastes best this way.
- You can stop now, or cover it and let it sit for 10 minutes so the flavors mesh. Or just dig in immediately—I do, nine times out of ten.
Hey, Here’s What I’ve Learned (Notes)
- Red onions are milder if you soak them in a little water for 5 minutes—somebody on Serious Eats convinced me once, and I agree (most of the time... when I remember).
- If your avocados are juuust underripe, microwave ‘em for 10 seconds. Not ideal, but it comes through in a crunch. Don’t tell my local farmers’ market I said that.
- Too much lime? Don’t scrap the batch—just mash in a bit more avocado if you’ve got any lurking about.
Variations I've Actually Tried
- I once threw in roasted corn (from this recipe), and everyone went nuts for it.
- Pineapple instead of jalapeño? Oddly refreshing, but not as Chipotle-y. My family was divided. (Okay, not my greatest experiment, but at least it was still edible!)
- For a smoky twist, toss in a pinch of smoked paprika. Not traditional, but—delish!
About the Gear—But Only If You Want
If you have a potato masher, great. If not, just grab a fork (even a heavy mug in a pinch—I got desperate once during a move). One tiny knife is all you need for everything else. No need for anything fancier than that unless you’re already fancy, in which case invite me over!
Keeping It Fresh: Storage Tips (But Honestly, Good Luck)
If by some miracle there’s leftovers, press plastic wrap directly onto the guac so less air gets to it—you know the drill. It’ll keep for a day or so in the fridge, but honestly, mine is demolished almost instantly. Sometimes I add an extra squeeze of lime before storing (I think it keeps it greener, but who knows, maybe it’s in my head).
How I Like to Serve This
Chips are the obvious choice (my kids like the Tostitos Scoops brand—super sturdy). But personally, I love spreadin’ it on toast with a fried egg for breakfast. Sometimes, I’ll even give in and top a burger with a big old dollop—their faces are priceless. On taco nights, my cousin calls dibs before I even finish mashing.
Lessons Learned the Hard Way (A Few Pro Tips)
- Don’t rush the avocado picking. Once, I grabbed avocados that were hard as bricks—guac ended up looking like chunky Play-Doh. Not my proudest moment.
- Let the flavors meld for at least 10 minutes if you can muster the patience. I’ve eaten it right away, but it’s genuinely tastier later (though, my family doesn’t ever wait, so maybe that’s just theory).
- Test your jalapeño heat! One time, I didn’t check and it blew our socks off. Now I do a little nibble first—live and learn.
Real Questions Friends Always Ask (FAQ)
- Is this really like Chipotle’s guac? Yep! Maybe not a cloned version, but honestly, most folks can’t tell the difference. You could fool my uncle (but not my best friend—she’s got a radar for guac).
- Can I double the recipe? Absolutely! Just don’t be shy with the lime and salt—taste as you go, the flavor can get a little lost if you just straight up double everything.
- What if I forgot cilantro? No biggie—I do that all the time. Just add a bit more lime or onion for oomph. Or—here’s an idea—sub in fresh parsley, if you fancy.
- How do I keep it from turning brown? Press wrap on top and add extra lime. Or honestly, just eat it quick (problem solved, right?).
- Does it freeze? I mean, you can, but why would you? The texture gets weird—sorta watery and no fun. Don’t recommend, sorry!
Oh, and just between us, if your dog begs for a nibble? Don’t cave—onions and avocados aren’t pup friendly! (My dog still stares at the bowl with those "sad puppy eyes.")
Ingredients
- 3 ripe avocados
- ¼ cup red onion, finely chopped
- 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
- 1 jalapeño, seeded and finely chopped
- ¼ teaspoon kosher salt
- ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 2 tablespoons lime juice
- 1 roma tomato (optional), seeded and diced
Instructions
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1Cut the avocados in half, remove pits, and scoop the flesh into a mixing bowl.
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2Add the lime juice and mash the avocados lightly with a fork until just smooth, leaving some chunks for texture.
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3Fold in the chopped red onion, cilantro, and jalapeño.
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4Season with salt and black pepper, and gently stir to combine.
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5If using, add the diced tomato and stir gently.
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6Taste and adjust seasoning as desired. Serve immediately with tortilla chips or as a topping.
Approximate Information for One Serving
Nutrition Disclaimers
Number of total servings shown is approximate. Actual number of servings will depend on your preferred portion sizes.
Nutritional values shown are general guidelines and reflect information for 1 serving using the ingredients listed, not including any optional ingredients. Actual macros may vary slightly depending on specific brands and types of ingredients used.
To determine the weight of one serving, prepare the recipe as instructed. Weigh the finished recipe, then divide the weight of the finished recipe (not including the weight of the container the food is in) by the desired number of servings. Result will be the weight of one serving.
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